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Aesop, in the fable of The Ass and His Purchase, taught us that a man is known by the company he keeps. Allow me to expand on that, presenting you with three possible motivations you might have when you're choosing friends. (Disclaimer: I've had some bitter experiences with false friends, but I'll try and not let that slip through into the text.)
Convenience
There are those who choose their friends by convenience. If it is convenient for them, you're gladly accepted. If you can help them in any way, they will be glad to embrace you, but if your actions (or inaction) start to cause any inconvenience to them, you start being put to one side.
To these people, it doesn't really matter what you believe, or what you practise. They seem to have no convictions (or, at least, no qualms about going against their convictions). You never really know what they believe, as they'll usually agree with you on anything. They are willing to condemn someone else if they think that will win favour with you (which makes you wonder what they say about you when you're not there!). They are the type of people who (as the Irish say) will pat you in the back in front of your face, but spit in your face behind your back.
They are the type of friend that I find inconvenient.
Convictions
Then there are those who choose their friends by their convictions. They manifest a very, very strong tribe mentality. If you agree with them on some basic, fundamental position, you're accepted. Your character (or lack thereof) doesn't matter — it's your beliefs that count.
I tend to respect more this type of people — up to a point. I respect their strong convictions, and their courage to make their convictions know (at least you know where they stand!). But I abhor their double standards. They are willing to condemn an opponent (with sadistic pleasure) for the smallest of faults, while defending a "brother" for greater sins. "Where's the glory in that?"
Character
Last, but certainly not least, are those who choose their friends by their character. They are themselves people of character, and they prefer an honest opponent to a cheating brother. These are the ones you can count on — the ones who are willing to go against the status quo in their community to defend an upright person (even if they share nothing with that person except their honesty).
It is obvious from the way I've structured this article that I try to follow this latter ideal. I have friends with whom I have practically nothing in common, except the knowledge that we will never allow anyone else to criticise each other for no reason. We have different convictions, but we respect each other.
What more could you want from a friend?
On Newsvine
My policy on Newsvine has been to accept every friend request received, but to later remove from my list those who show, by their conduct, that they have no character. Even though I'm a convinced Christian and Creationist (not of the North-American variety), I have atheists and evolutionists in my friend list. If we lived in the same town, we would probably meet in the rarest of occasions, as my path in life is so different from theirs. But I learn from them, and in the long run that is what counts.
So, thanks to all for allowing me to get this off my chest :-)
